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Intro: C  G  Am  G  F  G   
     
Am                    F                 C     G    
The books you think I wrote are way too thick    
Am                   F            C                        G    
Who needs a thousand metaphors to figure out you shouldn't be a dick    
Am          F                       C            G    
And I don't watch you when you sleep    
Am           F                  C                   Em      F    
Surprisingly I don't use my own omnipotence to be a ******* creep    
     
     
           Am       G      F    
You're not going to heaven    
                     Am             G               F    
Why the xxxx did you think I'd ever kick it with you    
                Am       G    
None of you are going to heaven    
F                  Am     G              F    
There's a trillion aliens cooler than you    
     
Interlude: F  F  F    
     
Am            G                          
You shouldn't abstain from rape just     
Am                      G            F    
because you think that I want you to    
     
Interlude: F  F  F    
     
Am                                   G                    C    
You shouldn't rape because rape is a xxxxed up thing to do    
     
Interlude: C  G  Am  G  F  G    
-It's pretty obvious just don't ******* **** people    
I didn't think I had to write that one down for you.-    
     
     
Am            F                      C        G    
I don't think masturbation is obscene    
Am              F               C            
It's absolutely natural and the weirdest     
                   G             Am    
******* thing I've ever seen    
            F                 C        G    
You make my job a living hell    
Am             F                 C    
I sent gays to fix overpopulation    
            G       F    
Didn't that go well    
     
     
           Am       G            F    
You're not going to heaven    
               Am              G            F    
Eat a thousand crackers sing a million hymns    
                Am       G            F    
None of you are going to heaven    
              Am               G                F    
You're not my children you're a bad game of sims    
     
Interlude: F  F  F    
     
Am                         G                Am           G          F    
You shouldn't abstain from pork because you think that I want you to    
     
Interlude: F  F  F    
     
Am                       G                           C    
You can eat pork because why the xxxx would I give a xxxx    
     
Interlude: C  G  Am  G  F  G    
-I created the uniVerse you think I'm drawing     
the line at the ******* deliaisle?-    
     
     
Am                F              C          G    
You argue and you bicker and you fight    
Am           F          C                     G       Am    
Atheists and Catholics, Jews and Hindus argue day and night    
     F                  C           G    
Over what they think is true    
Am         F              C                               G             F    
But no one entertains the thought that maybe god does not believe in you    
            Am        G            F    
You pray so badly for heaven    
                Am         G            F    
knowing any day may be the day that you die    
                  Am             G           F    
But maybe life on earth could be heaven    
                         Am            G              F    
Doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try    
     
Interlude: F  F  F    
     
F                     C          F                 G    
My love's the type of thing that you have to earn    
             C     F         C        G    
And when you earn it you won't need it    
     
     
Am                 G                 Am            G       F    
I'm not gonna give love just cause I know that you want me to    
Am                                G                  C    
If you want love then the love is gonna come from you    
     
Interlude: C  G  Am  G  F  G    
 

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Intro: C  G  Am  G  F  G   
     
Am                    F                 C     G    
The books you think I wrote are way too thick    
Am                   F            C                        G    
Who needs a thousand metaphors to figure out you shouldn't be a dick    
Am          F                       C            G    
And I don't watch you when you sleep    
Am           F                  C                   Em      F    
Surprisingly I don't use my own omnipotence to be a ******* creep    
     
     
           Am       G      F    
You're not going to heaven    
                     Am             G               F    
Why the xxxx did you think I'd ever kick it with you    
                Am       G    
None of you are going to heaven    
F                  Am     G              F    
There's a trillion aliens cooler than you    
     
Interlude: F  F  F    
     
Am            G                          
You shouldn't abstain from rape just     
Am                      G            F    
because you think that I want you to    
     
Interlude: F  F  F    
     
Am                                   G                    C    
You shouldn't rape because rape is a xxxxed up thing to do    
     
Interlude: C  G  Am  G  F  G    
-It's pretty obvious just don't ******* **** people    
I didn't think I had to write that one down for you.-    
     
     
Am            F                      C        G    
I don't think masturbation is obscene    
Am              F               C            
It's absolutely natural and the weirdest     
                   G             Am    
******* thing I've ever seen    
            F                 C        G    
You make my job a living hell    
Am             F                 C    
I sent gays to fix overpopulation    
            G       F    
Didn't that go well    
     
     
           Am       G            F    
You're not going to heaven    
               Am              G            F    
Eat a thousand crackers sing a million hymns    
                Am       G            F    
None of you are going to heaven    
              Am               G                F    
You're not my children you're a bad game of sims    
     
Interlude: F  F  F    
     
Am                         G                Am           G          F    
You shouldn't abstain from pork because you think that I want you to    
     
Interlude: F  F  F    
     
Am                       G                           C    
You can eat pork because why the xxxx would I give a xxxx    
     
Interlude: C  G  Am  G  F  G    
-I created the uniVerse you think I'm drawing     
the line at the ******* deliaisle?-    
     
     
Am                F              C          G    
You argue and you bicker and you fight    
Am           F          C                     G       Am    
Atheists and Catholics, Jews and Hindus argue day and night    
     F                  C           G    
Over what they think is true    
Am         F              C                               G             F    
But no one entertains the thought that maybe god does not believe in you    
            Am        G            F    
You pray so badly for heaven    
                Am         G            F    
knowing any day may be the day that you die    
                  Am             G           F    
But maybe life on earth could be heaven    
                         Am            G              F    
Doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try    
     
Interlude: F  F  F    
     
F                     C          F                 G    
My love's the type of thing that you have to earn    
             C     F         C        G    
And when you earn it you won't need it    
     
     
Am                 G                 Am            G       F    
I'm not gonna give love just cause I know that you want me to    
Am                                G                  C    
If you want love then the love is gonna come from you    
     
Interlude: C  G  Am  G  F  G    
 

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